You know how it feels when you are driving down a road - singing to the radio, letting the fresh air in the windows, your best canine bud beside you riding shotgun? THEN - you hit a bump in the road and the whole car shakes - and THANK GOD for seat belts - the only things that keeps you from being ejected. The dog gives you a look like 'what the hell?'. A bump in the road.
I have hit my share lately. And surprisingly enough, this doesn't involve politics - well - let me take that back - not the 'usual politics' - but family politics.
I have become my mom's power of attorney. I'm in charge of her 'next-to-nothing' finances and her health care. This is a terrible place to be - but being the oldest - I'm driving this car. Siblings get upset because they want to drive and to tell the truth - I'd love for them to take the wheel.
Its amazing how things change. Mom used to be my caretaker, she gave me an allowance, she took me to the doctor - throw this buggy in reverse - now I am her caretaker. I make the decisions. I tell her how much money she can spend a week at the Dollar Store. Its an uncomfortable place for me to be - but worse for my mom. She thinks she's too much trouble-she's not. She asks me the same questions a hundred times - I try to answer like its the first time she's asked. Its a bumpy road - but we just have to keep driving down it. I'm the driver now - not mom. I never realized how great it was being in the backseat.
2 comments:
Connie,
Just wanted to say that it's great that you are there for her. You are doing a wonderful thing. - Ryan
Connie, I do understand. My mother drifted into, for the lack of a better word, dementia for the last four/five years of her life. It was not Alzheimer's disease, but she lived in an imaginary world and the person she had been was gone--. I am an only child, and my father had died, so there was no controversy who had to take charge. To her, I became my father, and she would make statements, when talking to ME,such as, "I wish Ted was here to enjoy this watermelon". The first time I realized she did not know I was there was like a kick the gut.
So Connie,take one day a time; there will be tough decisions to make. Just continue to love and respect her, even though your roles are reversing.
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